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April 1st
Idle Champion Spotlight: Spurt 
Posted in Idle Champions.

Welcome, everyone! I'm here to chat with our newest "Champion": Spurt the Kobold Inventor. Some of you may remember him from his 20-minute epic guest spot on Critical Role, played by none other than Chris Perkins himself!


I'm Spurt. Can we be friends?

I'm an adventurer!

Spurt, we're getting off track.

AHHHHH! You're really loud.

How's this?

Much better. Have you seen my skunk, Pepe? He smells real nice.



Spurt. . .

That’s me!

You're here to tell us what makes you cool and why the Idle Champion fans will love you!

I eat my own poo.

Sigh. What makes you a great adventurer?

I like to explore and make weapons out of stuff.

A Champion for those less fortunate.

Less fortunate than me?

What's that on your stick?

This is Stingy. He's a scorpion that stings.



A scorpion on a staff, that's a pretty formidable attack!

He once stung a Goblin in the eye.

OK, and what other cool inventions do you come with?

I have a centi-pult. It throws centipedes.



Oh? And what else?

I can put rot grubs in your mouth when you're sleeping!



No thanks, Spurt.

I have a wasp's nest in a bag.



That makes sense. We normally get into a bit more detail though. How is your kit built? What is your focus: DPS, Support, Gold Find, or Tanking?

I think I’m a tank.

Did I read this correctly? You worked with the Mighty Nein?

The Mighty What?



You're only 11 days old?

Hey, did they say I died?!?

Nevermind that. Which Champion are you excited to work with?

The big one that pukes is pretty cool.

His name is Donaar.

Donut?

When are you joining the Idle Champions?

Huh?

OK. How about an easy one. What are your stats?

OH! I have the biggest stat block. Bigger than a dragon’s!

Race: First Class: INVENTOR! Alignment: Askew
Weak: 7 Fast: 15 Don't Eat That: 12
Dum: 8 Smarts: 7 Level of Drool: 8


Um, are you sure about those? Those don't look like actual stats.

I'm 11 days old. What do you expect?

Fair enough. What should I list as your top tier ability?

I die well.



I think that's enough foolishness for today. You heard it here first: Spurt, the Kobold Inventor will be joining the Champions in an upcoming event! At least he thinks he will.


I win!